Tag: family

For many teens, belonging isn’t guaranteed.
It’s something they stand at the edge of—watching, waiting, hoping to find their way in.

For those growing up in foster care, that feeling doesn’t simply fade with time. In fact, as they approach adulthood, it can deepen. The system that once held them—however imperfectly—begins to loosen its grip.

And then, almost quietly, they are expected to step forward on their own.

Not long ago, I found myself thinking about a child I’ll call Maya.
She’s not one specific child, and yet… she is.

She is the child who moves from home to home, carrying her belongings in a bag that was never meant to hold a life. She is the child who learns, far too early, how to read a room—how to sense what is expected, what is safe, what might bring comfort, even if only for a moment.

Children in foster care live with a range of experiences. Some are welcomed into homes that offer stability, care, and a true sense of belonging.

But for others, uncertainty becomes a way of life. And in that uncertainty, something else quietly takes root:

A deep longing to belong.

When that longing goes unmet—when a child feels unseen, unheard, or unanchored—it can make them vulnerable in ways we don’t always talk about.

Not because they are broken.
But because they are human.

And there are those in the world who know exactly how to recognize that longing—and exploit it.

This is one of the quiet intersections between foster care and exploitation. It doesn’t begin with force. It often begins with attention. With someone noticing. With someone saying, “You matter.”

And for a child who has felt invisible, that can be incredibly powerful.

There is another moment we don’t talk about enough.

It happens quietly, too.

A child turns eighteen—or twenty-one, depending on the system—and suddenly, the structure that has held them, however imperfectly, is gone. They “age out” of foster care.

No more placement. No home.
No guaranteed adult to call.
No steady hand to guide the next step.

Some leave with support. Many do not.

Imagine standing at the edge of adulthood with no safety net. No one to help you find housing, apply for a job, manage money, or simply sit beside you and say, “You’ve got this—I’m here.”

For too many young people, this is where vulnerability deepens.

Not because they lack strength.
But because they have been asked to navigate a complex world without the relationships that make navigation possible.

And yet—this is not a story without hope.

Because the very thing that creates vulnerability—the longing to belong—is also the doorway to healing.

I’ve seen this in the most unexpected places.

During our talking circle in the yoga class my daughter leads at the Boys & Girls Club, there have been moments I will never forget.

One day, the question was simple: What makes you sad?

And one by one, the children began to share.

Some spoke quietly. Some with hesitation. And some, to our surprise, through tears.

One child shared that her grandmother was in the hospital, and she wasn’t allowed to visit. Everyone in that circle felt that child’s pain.

What struck me most was not only what they shared, but that they could share.

My daughter has created a space where these children feel safe. Where they are seen. Where they are not judged or hurried. And in that space, something begins to shift.

We’ve watched children arrive, withdrawn and guarded, carrying more than any child should have to carry.

And then, over time… something softens.

A smile appears where there was none.
A laugh breaks through.
A child who once stayed silent begins to speak.

A safe place can become a healing place.

And that is what so many children—especially those who have experienced instability—are longing for.

It doesn’t erase what they’ve been through.

But it gives them something just as powerful:

A sense that they matter.
That they belong.
That someone is there.

So what can we do?

We don’t have to fix the entire system to make a difference. But we can begin—right where we are.

1. Be a consistent presence.
Whether through mentoring, volunteering, or simply showing up regularly in a child’s life, consistency matters more than perfection. Trust is built in the returning.

2. Support organizations that walk alongside youth aging out.
There are programs that help with housing, job readiness, and life skills. These efforts often operate quietly—and they need both awareness and support.

3. Help create safe spaces where children can be seen and heard.
Whether in a classroom, a community program, or even within your own circle of influence, safety and trust are where healing begins.

We may never fully know the impact of these small acts.

But for a young person standing at the edge, unsure of where they belong…

One steady connection can become a lifeline.

And sometimes, that is where protection begins.